


Radio

by sacchan



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 05:18:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4816496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacchan/pseuds/sacchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a man struggling to live in this world, because people always made him feel like he stood out, that he was strange. And there was a man, who embraced his own weirdness a long, long time ago, so he can live his life the way he wanted. And then there was a radio show that connected them. Plus a cat, yes, there was also a cat in this story somewhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Radio

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iloveohmiya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveohmiya/gifts).



> Thank you iloveohmiya for all the encouragement and the hard work with correcting my horrible mistakes! Really sorry for the commas x'D

It all started with a voice. 

He usually worked really late, because creative thoughts somehow loved to come to him in the middle of the night. Being in an office that late meant he could do anything he wanted, like lying on the couch or the floor in front of it, eating while walking around with a hamburger in his hand, playing one of the company’s newest games. Or listening to music. He usually preferred his own music library, but there were days when he got bored even of those songs, so he turned on one of the online radios. After a while it became like a hobby, always searching for new stations, because he just hated to listen to the same things over and over again. 

It was also a night like that. He already got bored by life itself, when he decided to look for a new radio station and do something while waiting for those goddamn thoughts to reach him. He glared at his guitar for one last time, then took his tablet from the table and lied down on the sofa. 

The list of the online radio stations was already pinned in his browser so he just scrolled down, searching for the ones that had shows running at the moment. It wasn’t easy to pick one, because they either had boring, too specific names or so abstract ones that he couldn’t even guess what they would be about. The boring ones were, of course, out of question. But he had to pick randomly in the end, because that night, the other titles were really extreme. Like Pearfect pearformers, which was, in the end, about songs that contains the word pear, and the guy talked really enthusiastically about pears between the two. Chain cage sounded kind of interesting, but he got really red after five minutes listening to it, and gave up – but he put a heart next to it, because maybe another night at home, he would go back to it. 

Then he clicked on Sea of Colours, since it sounded safe-for-work. And the sub-title, Painting with fish seemed just crazy enough to get his interest for a few minutes. He was ready to hear about ways of using a fish to paint with, but the man wasn’t even close to that. He was simply talking about one of his fishing experience. And it was boooring. 

Then… why couldn’t he just simply close the window? He frowned at the tablet’s screen. He wasn’t even aware when, but he had closed his eyes and only listened to that voice. It was calm, just nicely deep, and had a natural melody to it. He didn’t like the ocean. He got sick on boats, and his skin easily burned on the beach, so he had no reason to. But that voice still reminded him of the sea, of the sound of waves. And he liked that. A lot. 

He tried to actually listen to what that man was talking about, but it wasn’t easy. And it’s not just because he got fairly sleepy by the sound of it. The man talked about the most random things, he couldn’t be further off from being composed. He started off with talking about fishing, then brought up the name of a fish, and went really deep into how to prepare it for eating, then ended up talking about the colors of its scales and how he tried to recreate it with paintings, but failed. 

Even after the show ended, the guy on the sofa couldn’t decide whether he was listening to a fisherman who likes to paint, or a painter who loves to fish. But one thing was sure. He had a tiny smile on his lips when he sat up and got his guitar in his lap again. He wrote a really great song that night that ended up in his company’s new video game without any changes, and his boss gave him a huge sum of extra money for it. It made him really happy, because after music, the one thing that Ninomiya Kazunari loved the most was money. 

That voice became a part of his life frighteningly natural. The weeks passed quickly, the hot summer was replaced by heavy rains and gradually dropping temperature, though, and all this rarely affected him, who preferred to be in a room with electrical lights and constant 24°C. His days went on with the usual lazying around in the company till nobody was around and he could finally get to work. Life however, didn’t feel boring for him, which was a real miracle. He kept _fishing for_ opportunities to listen to that radio show, and it gave him just enough excitement to stir up his dull days. 

The guy, Satoshi, as he referred to himself, didn’t have a proper airing schedule. Not just the hours of his show, but the days were picked randomly too, so it wasn’t easy to catch him. But instead of being angry about it, Nino enjoyed waiting for him to come up and talk about his nonsense way of life. It was just so different from his, that even though he picked a job that revolved around creativity, everything was still set in an order that he couldn’t change. 

He felt this strange desire to peek into the life of this man, to have this man give colors to his life. He talked about things that would bore Nino to death if anybody else presented them, yet he managed to be interesting, moreover, funny. 

Nino caught himself smiling and laughing out loud at him, or with him, because this man surprisingly laughed a lot. He was aware of his own weirdness and could laugh at himself easily. Nino liked his laughter, liked when he clearly leant back on his chair, away from the microphone cause the laughter was way too powerful, but also liked those short ones that weren’t more than snorting. 

He liked that voice, to the point where it felt like that man actually was a part of his life. And even though he felt stupid because of it, he couldn’t stop himself.

~*~

It was already the 26th of November, the weather didn’t spare them, the temperature dropped under zero during the night. And it was only the third hour of the 26th so it was very late at night when Nino finally reached the street of his apartment. He walked from the station, wrapped in three layers and even a scarf that he surprisingly didn’t forget in the morning, like he usually does.

He didn’t like to spend money on things like rent and bills, so he lived in an average place, deep in the city, in a peaceful neighborhood. Where people went to bed around ten o’clock and wake up together with the sun. That’s why it was really shocking to hear a voice as he reached the last corner that still separated him from the block. It wouldn’t have been as shocking to make him halt, though, but it still did, because he knew that voice. 

It was the voice that kept him company in his boring life. 

“No way,” he murmured, as he pushed his hands even deeper into the pockets of his jacket. 

There was a man on the street in black clothes, crouching in front of a box by the street lamp, obviously being lost in the thing that the box was hiding. Which had to be a cat, he concluded, as got closer and started to hear the meows. Nino almost walked past him. _Almost_. But then the man began talking again, and he couldn’t. 

“How can people just throw away an innocent being like you?”   
Nino heard the man say and saw him stroking the tiny kitten’s head. 

“When you are this incredibly cute? Yosh, yosh, yosh…” he added with a gentle and caring voice as the cat snuggled to his hand and started to purr. 

Nino realized that he closed his eyes, because it felt like that voice was stroking him, too. Up and down by his spine, making him tremble. And warm. So so warm. 

“Why don’t you keep it then?”

The man didn’t have to look up after he obviously got taken aback by the sudden response, because Nino was already crouching next to him. He didn’t try to touch the cat, though, he didn’t like animals much. 

“I have a hard time keeping myself alive, I doubt I could take care of another living being, you see,” he answered. Then laughed with that funny, adorable snort, which gave his face wrinkles around his nose and eyes, Nino noticed, as he couldn’t take his gaze off the man.

“I can help you with that,” burst Nino out like it was something people normally do. His heart beat very fast in his chest, and he was really glad his cheeks were already red because of the cold. 

“Eeeeh?” The man looked at him in shock, but there was a smile on his lips. “Then why don’t you take it home?”

“I don’t like animals,” he answered sincerely. 

“Then why would you help me with it?” 

Nino shrugged. “Cause I’m a nice person.”

“You look like one,” The other one smirked, like he found Nino really funny. Then he looked back at the kitten, and lifted it out of the box. “I really don’t think this is a good idea, but today is my birthday, and I’m a little drunk, so I really want to keep it.”

_Ah, that’s why you sound kind of different than in the radio earlier._

“It’s the local deity’s birthday present for you, keep it.”

“Do we have a local deity?” 

“Yes, it’s the deity of birthdays.” 

“You are lying,” declared the other one, still, very amused.

“Am I now?”

Nino smiled really wildly as the man looked at him, then shook his head and laughed again. Why did it feel so good to have this man laughing at him? Maybe because Nino laughed so much at him before, and now that it was the other way around, he just wanted this to continue. So their – non-existent – relationship wouldn’t be one-sided anymore. 

“Do you live close by?” asked Nino, when the man just kept petting the cat.

“Yup, just moved in the old apartment block at the end of the street a few days ago.”

His mouth was left open for a second. He just couldn’t believe this is happening. That was his block, there were no other blocks on this street. Can he do this? He rarely was this bold in a situation that didn’t involve his job. He was a wimp, he really was, but in those rare situations, when he really wanted something, he could gather some courage to go on.

“Okay. Then let’s go,” He stood up, and fixed his laptop bag on his back. “Come on, you two.”

“Eh?” The man looked up at him confused. 

“I’m freezing, so I’m sure your friend is, too,” Nino, unaware, touched his scarf, then with a quick move, took it off. 

There was nothing in the cat’s box, but creased newspapers. 

“Put this under it just to be safe,” Nino sighed and went towards the other man.

“Eh?” repeated the other one, and Nino knew he did this a lot from the radio. “Are you sure?”

Nino shrugged like it’s nothing, even though he pretty much liked that scarf as it was very nicely soft. 

The man accepted it in the end, but Nino didn’t see what he did with it as he started to walk away. Really slowly. And he kept biting his lower lip in anxious anticipation when he didn’t hear any noise behind him. But then the clanking noise gradually grew louder – a chain was attached to his jeans –, and the man caught up to him.

“Did you just adopt a cat for me without even introducing yourself?” he asked, with the box of the kitten in his hands, and a really cheerful smile on his face. 

“Did I now?” Nino couldn’t even turn his head towards him. He just squeezed the straps of his backpack, and hoped the man can’t read his face, no matter how hard he tried to keep his cool. He really, really wasn’t cool enough for this situation. Damn it, he didn’t even like to talk to people! 

“And will you tell me your name at least now?” he almost tripped, because he kept staring at the other one’s profile. “Or should I just call you Mr. Nice Person?” 

“You shouldn’t,” Nino finally looked at the other one for a second. “I’m not even close to being nice.”

“Eh, you said you are,” the man smirked. “Do you lie a lot?”

“Do I now?”

He did. He lied a lot, lied all the time, and he had such a hard time being honest. He sometimes even lied to himself. He wasn’t nice, he really wasn’t. 

They arrived at the gate of the apartment block. It had a three floors with fifteen flats, and looked even older in the dark, even unoccupied, because there weren’t any lights on. It was three in the morning after all. 

“I live here,” announced the man as they both stopped.

“Yeah, me too,” answered Nino quietly. He was still lost in his thoughts. 

“Are you lying again?” the other one’s voice raised a little in surprise.

Nino shook his head. “I am not.” 

“Did you know we live in the same place when you offered help with the kitty?”

“I didn’t.” _And I still can’t believe this is happening, you see._

“Then the local deity really smiled at us, maybe it’s the god of luck,” the man laughed. “I’m Ohno Satoshi, and I live in the 7th flat on the first floor.”

“I’m Ninomiya Kazunari, and I live in the 8th,” Nino answered. He couldn’t even be taken aback anymore. _I should really go and give some money for that god…_

“You have a very long name, Ninomiya Kazunari-san.”

“Are you being rude now?”

“Am I now?”

Ohno obviously mocked his previous way of talking, but his smile had no sign of bad intentions. Nino felt like he met a really nice person. This man was a weirdo, he already knew that, but with that is also a very nice person. 

“It was nice to meet you, Ninomiya-kun.” 

They already reached the door of Ohno’s flat, so he lowered his volume a lot.

“What happened with the ‘san’?”

“I realized you must be a lot younger than me, so it felt weird,” he smirked again in amusement.

“I’m 30.”

“NO WAY!” Ohno raised his voice again in shock.

“You shouldn’t shout like that, there are some really scary people in these apartments, and they don’t like to be woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, I met a yakuza-looking man this morning,” The other one answered, like he easily followed Nino’s way of thoughts, which wasn’t that surprising, considering how random he could be on the radio.

“That must have been Satou-kun. He is harmless. The old ladies, though, on the street level… you don’t want to anger them.”

Ohno frowned for a second, then giggled, which ended in loud roars of laughter. He even threw his head back, just like Nino imagined listening to him in the radio. _Oh, goddamit, what is happening to me?!_

He felt so good, so cheerful, and there was this powerful desire to make this man laugh even more growing rapidly in his chest. 

“SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU PUNKS!”

The high pitched voice broke the nice moment they just had. 

“I told ya,” Nino tilted his head to the right and smiled broadly. “She will come up the next time, so we should get into the flats.”

“I won’t doubt your words ever again,” answered Ohno and he was fairly serious. 

“You shouldn’t do that,” Nino murmured faintly, then turned around and walked quickly to his door. 

It was already opened, when he answered to that earlier greeting. “It was nice meeting you.”

He just softly heard the “You, too.”, because he already closed the door. Right away, he crouched down, though, and hid his face on his thighs. His heart raced for a long time, till the only thought left in his head was, _I can’t believe what just happened._

~*~

Nino was waken up by some brutal noise. Someone was banging his head. Or his door, he concluded, after finally being able to open one of his eyes. There was another thing to note: it was still not completely light outside. _Who the fucking…_

“Nino-chan! Nino-chan wake up! Nino-chan!!!”

_NINO-CHAN?!_ There was nobody. Nobody dared to call him that. Who was it then?

He sat up so suddenly, his head becoming dizzy for a second. _He knew that voice._ And now, he could even associate a face to it. And suddenly, all the events from the previous night flashed through his head. Zipping up his jumper, he stumbled to the door and opened it a little to peek outside.

“Dahell are you doing?” he grunted.

“Finally! I think Kazu-chan has diarrhea, please help, I don’t know what to do, please!” jabbered Ohno desperately. 

_Now it’s Kazu-chan?! And…_

“I have what?!” he asked back dumbfounded.

“Not you! Kazu-chan!” 

Nino raised an eyebrow to express he had no idea what’s going on.  
“The kitty!”

Two second passed. 

“You named your cat after me?”

“You are just as cute as him, so I thought it fit. You even have the same mouth shape.” Ohno’s pace slowed down, like he already forgot about the actual situation. “Did you know you have cat lips?”

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do! I wanted to draw your face right away, when I arrived home, because I thought it looks interesting, but then I had to look after Kazu-chan, and…” He finally realized he was missing the point. “And then Kazu-chan started to act strange, and now he has diarrhea! I guess.”

“What did you give it?” Nino asked resignedly, as didn’t want to comment on any other parts of the gibberish he just heard.

“Just milk. And I don’t think it was expired like usual, ‘cause it smelled okay?”

Nino did a really impressive facepalm. 

“You have to help me, you said you’ll help me with taking care of Kazu-chan! Nee, Nino-chan, what should I do?”

“First of all, drop the ‘chan’!” he muttered. 

Ohno didn’t even answer, just glared at him like, _‘That won’t happen’._

Nino’s morning started really, really bad. He still managed to not just close the door, because even though he wasn’t a nice person, he knew when to take responsibility for his actions. And he wanted this, right? He wanted this man to bring colors into his life for months now. Then he had to accept even the ugly ones, like the very dark gray that the clouds behind Ohno’s head showed him. 

“We should take it to an animal hospital,” he said after he had given up on protesting. 

“Is there one close by?”

“I have no idea. I told you, I’m not an animal person.”

“Then what should we do?”

They didn’t discuss anything in the end, but Ohno was obviously older than him, even though he looked fairly young. He had to be over 30. How could anyone look this lost over such a tiny matter like finding a pet’s clinic? He was just so… adorable. 

“I’ll look up one, until then get ready,” he pointed at Ohno, who had a worn out, sleazy t-shirt on with a sweater in the same state. 

Then he slammed his door, because he just got himself utterly embarrassed by his stupid thoughts. This man definitely brought colors into his life. Very, very weird colors that still had so simple shades. For example, bright red, just like his face was as he looked into the mirror.

~*~

Two hours later, a very sluggish, and lot less desperate Ohno came towards Nino on the corridor of the animal hospital.

“I got scolded,” he mumbled with a pout. 

“I’m sure you deserved it,” Nino answered, and took a glance at the cat in its box. It seemed to be the same as half an hour ago, when he last saw it, so the problem couldn’t be that big, could it?

“And Kazu-chan is a girl,” he added, ignoring the other one. 

“Then you can stop calling it that.”

Again, that glare. This man was shockingly stubborn. You wouldn’t have guessed by looking at his sleepy eyes and the dreamy state that he could be so lost. The latter one came to Nino’s understanding after spending an hour in the hospital’s waiting area together. Ohno did nothing, but stare at the cat, and he highly doubted the man saw it, or anything else from this world. 

“So, what’s up with it?” Nino gave in again.

“Nothing, except, he is… she is, dirty and full of fleas.”

Nino took a step back right away. 

“Yes, I know. The doctor said, I should have given it a bath right away, now I have to sterilize everything she might touch.” He swung the paper in his hand by the side of the box so the younger one could notice it. “And we need to buy all these things. Look at it!”

“I’m not touching that,” Nino had a disgusted grimace on his face. His dislike towards animals increased very rapidly in just a brief time. 

“Don’t be like that. Fleas prefer animals over humans.” 

“Do they now?” Those weren’t the only problem. “Why the diarrhea then?” 

The shock when he saw his scarf two hours ago was still very alive in his memory. That tiny being managed to get _everything_ dirty around it. 

“That happened, because kittens have to get used to drinking milk. She will be fine in a few days.”

“This will continue for days?” Nino repeated in disbelief. 

“The time differs with each pet,” he quoted what he heard from the vet. 

“Why do people even bother to keep animals?”  
“Eh?” Ohno looked down at the kitten, and felt really sad because he couldn’t pet her with the box in his hands. “Cause they are cute.”

“And dirty.”

“Well,” he looked up with a serious face. “Nothing can be just cute or beautiful. Everything has other sides.”

Nino turned his head away after a few seconds, because he couldn’t say anything. He knew exactly well, how two – or hundred – faced someone can be. 

After the shopping, which was done only by Nino because Ohno couldn’t go inside with the smelly kitten, they dropped off the younger one’s scarf in a proper laundry shop, much to Satoshi insisting to do so. When they arrived home, it was only 9am, which was still before the time Nino usually got up, so he was very grumpy and just wanted to go back to his futon. He, of course, couldn’t. 

“Nee, Nino-chan, you’ll help me with washing her, right?” Ohno asked, already inside the flat. Then he noticed, the younger one didn’t follow him. “What’s up? Come inside!”

“What were you saying, when did you move in again?” he asked in disbelief. The apartment was a mess. It looked like someone was living here for a long time. There is no way anyone can make such a mess in just a few days.

It wasn’t like his flat, where one could always find some clothes lying around the most different places – or socks, his socks just loved to discover every inch of the apartment. He saw the ones for laundry thrown together in one of the corners, which was surprisingly an organized part of the room. There were fishing and painting equipment everywhere else. Nino couldn’t even tell where the man was sleeping in that mess. Countless canvas, some with pictures, some still blank, some seemingly unfinished -- but he wasn’t an expert so he wouldn’t know. Then he saw at least fifteen different rods, and boxes full of plugs in all the colors of the rainbow. He just really wanted to know already, whether this man is a painter or a fisherman.

“Three days ago?” Ohno tilted his head to the left. “Four? Or was it only two? Dunno.” 

“What did I get myself into?” Nino moaned after a facepalm. 

He had to help him. He just couldn’t leave that cat in this man’s hands. He might not like animals much, but he didn’t want to be involved in killing one. 

Not like he was any good in this. Washing a cat wasn’t easy. They fought back, very, very powerfully. 

“It hurts, it hurts, it hurts,” they both repeated endlessly, as the scratches increased on their skins. 

They were on their knees by a plastic basin that Ohno usually used for painting – and keeping fish alive till he tried to draw them – because in this block there were no bathrooms in the apartments. The older one leant really close to the kitten as he tried to see if there were more fleas on its stomach, when it clawed even his nose. He immediately put it down, and sat back, while rubbing the burning part. 

“I give up. This is just so not happening. The vet said, if I can’t deal with it, I should bring it to an animal shelter. The sooner the better,” he mumbled low-spirited. “Don’t you think I should do that?”

Nino let the cat playfully bite his fingers, because that was just easier than having to touch it to prevent it from escaping. And then looked back at Ohno over his shoulder. 

His right mind wanted to say yes, but it wasn’t that easy. Satoshi looked sad under all the disappointment, because they had such a hard first half a day with the cat; he clearly didn’t want to abandon it that easily. And… Nino was afraid, if this animal gets out of the picture, he’d lose all the chances to talk with this man, and he didn’t want that. 

“You can get used to it, I’m sure.”

“You are lying.” 

“Am I now?” 

This time when Nino asked back, his voice wasn’t the usual cynic grunt, but a kind tone that he so rarely used, he even forgot he could talk like that.

“Then I’ll try.” 

_You are way too easy._ Not like he was really surprised about it, Ohno seemed exactly like someone whose decisions can change with the wind.

It took another ten minutes to finally get the cat out of the water, and while Ohno gently dried it with a towel, Nino lay down on the tatami with an exhausted sigh – he had to take out a plug from under his head right after painfully bumping into it. 

“Ah, I’m so tired!”

Ohno giggled as he spread his arms and legs wide open, fortunately not breaking anything in the process.

“Thanks for helping, Nino-chan.”

“You can thank me by dropping the ‘chan’,” he said peeking up at the other through his half-closed eyes. He was so sleepy. 

The older one simply shook his head, then snuggled his nose into the cat’s hair before hugging it tightly to his chest. Nino wanted him to do the same. _Goddamit!_ He turned his head away, as his cheeks started to burn. 

“Ah, now that you finally smell nice, Kazu-chan, let’s try to eat lunch, okay?” he babbled like a doting parent. 

_It’s already lunch, I’m hungry, too_ , Nino’s lazy thoughts got more and more slow. Then he suddenly remembered something and sat up.

“Hey, isn’t today…. a Thursday?” he asked confused.

“Guess it is,” Ohno answered uninterestedly.   
“And it’s already past 12 o’clock, damn, I’m gonna be late for work!” He jumped to his feet, and started to look for his bag that had his wallet.

“Why don’t you take today off?” Ohno looked back at him only for a second, because he was in the middle of fighting a can of cat food. 

“I’m a businessman, we don’t do that,” Nino answered in a tone that told, _it’s common knowledge._

“Oh. I see. So you have one of those boring jobs,” Ohno muttered, mostly to himself. 

“It’s not that bad,” He found everything. “But I really don’t have more time.”

“Okay. Come by whenever you want,” he smiled and finally turned around when Nino was already at the door, putting on his shoes. “Or I’ll go and bang on your door again.”

Nino looked up, ears burning.

“I don’t want that. So I’ll come by,” he said, then ran off. He was grateful for the invitation, because he quietly pondered over whether it’s alright to come or not.

~*~

He didn't have a particular time to be in the office, but a meeting usually occurred in the afternoon, to know what his next job is, or how he had to change the songs he was working on. And usually that’s when he could decide whether to stay late or not. If he had to compose, he needed to be there, because in his apartment with the paper thin walls, it wasn’t easy.

He couldn’t go home that night either, even though he really wanted to because he was kind of worried about the cat and his clumsy owner. Yes, that was the only reason. After 11pm he gave up already on meeting Ohno again that day, and when he still wasn’t done at midnight, he took a look at the online radio list. 

“Oh,” he sighed, and a smile formed on his face as he sat down on the sofa.

Sea of Colours just started. 

He leaned back and pulled his legs up to sit cross-legged which he loved the most. Sometime in the past months, he started to listen to Ohno’s voice through his headphones, and this time, he put it on too. Even if he enjoyed everything else loud – the office was the only place where he didn’t have to care for neighbors or disturbing someone – he just wanted to have that voice talking close to his ears. He closed his eyes as put his head on the back of the sofa. 

“–since last time, I moved to a new place. Did I talk about getting kicked out of my old apartment?”

_No, you didn’t_ , Nino answered in his head to the guy on the radio. He did this a lot, he just could not stop himself from responding. 

“They said I didn’t spend enough time there, so they want to give the flat to people that need it more. I didn’t protest, they were right, I was a horrible tenant anyway.” He snorted. “It was kind of hard to find a new place, though, because I just have way too many things. Maybe I should have just rented one of those boxes people keep their unwanted stuff in?”

_No, you shouldn’t have. You did just the right thing._

“Who even needs a flat?”

_Everybody!_

“Someone like me definitely doesn’t.” 

Ohno was quiet for a while, then Nino heard a noise and frowned, but when he realized what it is, he just started to smile again.

“But last night, my life kind of changed. I ran into somebody, who will be a part of my life from now on.” 

He was talking in this really gentle and full of love voice. Nino knew he wasn’t talking about him, but that couldn’t stop him from wanting to.

“So, everyone, meet, Kazu-chan!” There was a small meowing answer. “Good girl, just one more time, so they can hear you even more!” 

Nino got goose-flesh as the man made kissing noises, obviously snuggling with the kitten. Right. Next. To. His. Ears. _Kissing noises_. And he couldn’t stop trembling. 

“I’m really grateful for that nice person who convinced me to do this. I feel like I moved to a very good place.” 

After this, Ohno went into details about Kazu-chan’s hair color, then as always, ended up talking about fish somehow and Nino couldn’t even follow. He tumbled down the couch, and curled up till could properly hide his face headphone sliding off his head.

“I’m so gay. I’m so utterly gay,” he mumbled, but wasn’t even aware of it. 

He knew this, though. He just so clearly was not interested in any girls his whole life, but never had a proper relationship either, so he always tried to ignore this question. He reached a point where he started to think, his route just didn’t involve any love interest. Which was alright, because getting along with people was only bothersome and made him think badly of himself. He just wasn’t like everybody else. He was thirty, but he hardly felt any different from how he was as a teen, and people didn’t like that, he reminded people of everything they lost, because they _grew up_. 

Even though Nino, himself, had to do that on his own way. 

He got the worst part of becoming an adult – he had to give up his dream. Instead of becoming a proper musician, he went for the certain money, and just remained a composer behind the scenes. After your dream, you very easily give up more and more, anyway. Living in a nice place, eating good food, going to places, meeting with people… everything that was considered ‘normal’. Actually, the only reason why he didn’t become a shut-in was money. He just loved money way too much, so he had to work.

And now, he was very close to loving one more thing in this life. Which scared him to death, because unlike money, people couldn’t give you only happiness.

~*~

Nino was wrong. That rarely happened, but now he had to admit, he was totally off the beam. Ohno Satoshi couldn’t get used to taking care of a pet, because he wasn’t exaggerating when he stated he had a hard time keeping himself alive. He kept forgetting about food, when he spent the day fishing god knows where, then forgot about sleep – and the whole world – when he started to paint. And in the end, he forgot all about his cat and Nino, too.

But that was still a little further down the road. 

They spent a few really nice months together, and Nino’s life was finally full of colors. _He_ was full of _life_. No wonder he composed the best music of his career at that time. 

At first, he just checked on those two every morning to see if they had food to eat, or to tell Ohno it’s garbage day – and ended up gathering stuff in his room to throw away. Then he realized, the older one’s sleeping schedule was just as messed up as his, so whenever he arrived home and saw lights in his room, he mustered all the courage he had to knock on his door. And that’s how he spent most of his nights at his neighbor’s and just went over to his own room to sleep at dawn. Not like they did anything in those hours. Because after a few minutes of talking about some nonsense that Ohno had in his head, he either switched off or started to work on one of his arts, and then he really forgot about everything. 

And Nino, who hated to be bored, always sat by the glass door that led to the tiny veranda watching him, because it was fascinating. His face had a different look, he seemed serious for a change and absorbed in his own world. And he was unreachable, because nobody had a place in that world except him and his art. 

Not Nino, nor Kazu-chan could disturb him there, so during those so-close-to-lonely nights, somewhere, the two outsiders became friends. The little kitten that loved to bite Nino’s tiny, chubby fingers started to snuggle to his hands, then used him as monkey bars, and ended up sleeping curled up in his lap. That was only one of the reasons why he rarely changed positions, though the other one was more bothersome. He couldn’t keep his eyes off that man. 

He stared for so long, not doing anything at all. And then there were times when he even fell asleep. The first time it happened, he wanted to stop this stupidity. What was he even doing falling asleep in someone else's flat? But the next day he went back to do the same. Because he was in love with this man that had no place for him in his world. 

However there were those nights when it changed for seconds. 

“Don’t move, Nino-chan!”

_I didn’t move in the past two hours… but you wouldn’t know that anyway._

“Why?” he asked instead.

“I wanna draw her in your lap,” Ohno muttered, already holding his pencil towards them, measuring the ratios… or something. 

“Why would you do that?” Nino asked flustered. 

“Cause it’s just so astonishingly cute.” 

Silence followed with some fidgeting.

“I said, don’t move!” the older one said, because Nino turned his head away, after Ohno crouched in front of him. 

“Duncare,” the sitting guy answered inaudibly. 

“Don’t be like that.” 

Ohno touched his chin, then slowly turned him back. Nino had goose-bumps all over his body and his heartbeat was so powerful, he felt it in his throat.

_You are too close, idiot!!!_

And then for a whole hour, they were in that world. Ohno looked at them, even if he didn’t talk at all, watched them, _actually_ saw them, and Nino felt like his feelings could strangle him. Why was this boring old man so attractive? With his overtanned face and curved back? He didn’t even like noses shaped like his… then why? Why was he so overwhelmed by him?

He got annoyed at himself for not being able to control his feelings, so a grimace formed on his face, which he thought wasn’t a problem; Ohno only drew the cat, right? Well, that grimace got perpetuated for all eternity in the end, because Satoshi wasn’t interested only in his Kazu-chan. 

“Next time, try to smile a little, you grumpy cat,” Ohno giggled, as showed him the picture. 

This made Nino even more annoyed, so he just went home and cursed himself till he fell asleep, because he just wanted to keep that picture so bad. 

“Kazu-chan is such a good model, it’s really easy to draw her,” Ohno said later on the radio. “She is beautiful, too, and grows a lot week by week, which makes me very excited to paint her again and again.”

_I know I’m not good enough_ , Nino gave a grunt and went back to work instead.

~*~

The weather finally started to change, the cold gave in to the sun’s power and the scenery around them was constantly shifting. When the first sakura flowers showed up in the city, Nino’s life began to change again. The warmth he found through the cold winter was taken away by spring’s mellow days.

It happened by the end of March, on a Tuesday night. Nino arrived home after 2am, and found Ohno’s apartment dark again, just like the previous nights. With a pout he opened his own door, and couldn’t help but feel miserable. And was bored, oh so bored that not even his favorite games helped, so he almost fell asleep by three. 

Then he heard that noise. Creaking, scraping and as he listened more carefully – after shaking off the fear that it’s a ghost – he even heard the meows. 

_Kazu?_ The name he called the cat showed up in his mind right away. _Is it hungry?_  
He pondered for a while whether to go or not, but the cat didn’t stop scratching the wall that separated them, so he had to try. First he knocked, but there was no answer. He tried the handle… and it was open. Nino frowned, stepping inside. 

“Hey, if you are at home, what about caring for your pet…” his voice died slowly as he realized, there was nobody in the flat. Except for the poor cat that right away ran to him and now desperately trying to climb up his leg. 

Nino crouched down, and tried to pet its head, but Kazu-chan snapped at his hand, which even bled a little. 

“It’s not like I wanted to pet you anyway,” he mumbled after sucking on his finger. 

Even the cat’s water bowl was empty and dry, so he filled that before searching for food. He found only one can left, and that had scratches on it, which meant Kazu-chan had to be really hungry. _When did that idiot go away? And where?!_

Nino wasn’t at home for the weekend because he had to accompany one of his bosses on a trip to Nagasaki, so he had no idea since when was the poor animal alone. 

He ended up spending the night in Ohno’s flat, because every time he tried to leave, the cat started to cry in that desperate voice that he couldn’t just ignore. Nino kept stroking its fluffy hair for two hours, after Kazu curled up next to his tummy, and fell asleep with its stomach finally full. His brain didn’t let him rest that easily, because he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened with the older man. He just realized, after four months together, he didn’t know Ohno’s phone number. _Does he even own a cell_ , was his last thought before the fatigue won over his mind.

~*~

The answer came on a strangely unsurprising way.

“I’m out on the sea right now, first time this year to catch something big! I wonder if we’ll be lucky or not! That’s it for now, I have to run to help the captain set the net!”

Nino was confused for a second.

“Eh?! That was it?!” he answered this time, and not just in his brain.

“The night finally came, and I can rest a little.”

_Ah, it’s a recording_ , he realized, and leaned back to the glass-door. He was at Ohno’s place again.

It happened sometimes, especially when Satoshi went to fish and stayed out on the sea where he had no internet connection to make a live show, so Nino wasn’t that surprised about the recording. Though, it made him wonder, where is the older one now, where did he find internet? 

“Yeah, I know,” he murmured, as the cat meowed loud at the older man’s voice. When he stroked its back, Kazu-chan started to purr, but Nino knew that isn’t for him this time. 

“I’m up on the deck, wanted to draw the city’s light that I can see from here, but the waves are a little too powerful tonight, so I gave up. It’s Tokyo anyway, we didn’t go too far today, but had to stay out here for the night, because the captain wants to catch sea bass. Which is very boring, so I’m not helping him,” he snorted. “Just joking, but their colors are really nothing special…”

Nino spaced out as always, because he just didn’t care for colors of fish at all, and not even four months with this man could change that. Ohno talked about every fish they caught in the past two days, so Nino was just staring at the cat with a blank expression, and waiting for something… something to know when he is coming back. But the episode ended, and he was still in the dark about Ohno’s plans. If he had any.

~*~

It was too hot. He was sweating through his t-shirt, and that was one hell of a bad sensation. Nino’s eyes snapped opened right away, as he realized, he isn’t in his flat. The smell of paint and the sea that filled this room helped a lot.

He looked at the blanket that covered him confusedly, which was obviously the cause of his sweating; he had his jumper on, so it was too much in the fairly warm room. His eyes found Kazu-chan first, it was like a parental reflex by now, and then he frowned. The cat was slowly lifting then sinking in the air. He had to blink a few times to understand the reason. It was lying on Ohno’s chest, who was sound asleep. 

Nino got mad in an instant, because how dare he come back just like how he disappeared without a word? He could have woken him up. He could have said something. Why is he so… selfish and irresponsible? Annoying? And just… a huge idiot?

All the tension and fury that clogged together in him since Tuesday finally found a way out. And Nino was mad, so so mad he could just kick this idiot in the balls. _Because how dare you…?!_ He didn’t do it, though, mostly because he might hurt the cat, and that poor bastard had no fault in this. 

He stood up, clenched his fists, and started towards the door, but couldn’t go without actually kicking at least Ohno’s leg. The older man groaned a little, but it took him long seconds till he woke up, and the other one put on even his shoes by the time he got up from the tatami.

“Nino-chan, I’m home!” he said like nothing happened. 

“Are you now?” asked Nino back in a very low voice. 

“That’s not how you welcome someone home.”

He abruptly turned around.

“Ah, you are right! It’s a great pleasure to have you back home,” he said, but his voice was trembling with rage. “Let me clarify something here. People usually welcome each other, when they arrive home, it seems you know about that. But what do people do, before they go somewhere?” 

Ohno first seemed dumbfounded by his friend’s behaviour, then very much confused.

“Say goodbye?” he asked back, and scratched his face.

“Yes, usually that, too. But the best is when they also add where the hell they would go FOR DAYS!” 

He didn’t want to shout, he so tried to keep his anger inside, but failed miserably. 

“You are angry.”

“Am I now?!” snapped Nino back, then lifted his head finally – he stared at his shoes so far, because he had no courage to look up. 

“Why the fuck would you smile in a situation like this?” he asked after ten seconds of complete bewilderment looking at the older one’s face.

“It’s the first time Nino-chan showed some real emotion,” answered Ohno as he walked to him, then stopped before stepping down from the tatami to the tiny part where his shoes were. It was the first time he was taller than Nino, who had to look up to see his face. “I wanna paint you.” 

The younger had to close his eyes as that finger ran through his features. First his forehead that had wrinkles engraved on now, then from his tensed nostrils he went on and stroked that deep crinkle that ran till his lips. 

And in the end even touched his mouth that Nino kept biting for a second, while whispering, “I really like the lines of your lips, stop doing that.”

“You usually either has this annoyed grimace or a tiny smile on, it’s so nice to see you show powerful emotions,” Ohno continued to mumble, being absorbed in Nino’s face. “You have wrinkles now, you now. You don’t have that flawless mask on now that shows you so young and pure. I really wanted to see Nino-chan without his masks one day.”

“Did you now?” whispered Nino and glanced up at him again. Just for a second, though, because he couldn’t stand the other’s expression. He admired him as a material for his art, for the world that steals Satoshi away from him all the time. 

Nino turned around without another word and went home. He could have stayed to hear the other man out now that his anger died down, but that exactly was the reason why he couldn’t stand being next to him anymore. He let his guard down. And what made Ohno happy, made Nino feel utterly vulnerable. 

“What am I even doing?” he asked his reflection in the mirror, before washing his face with cold water. He just wanted to erase the sensation of Ohno’s fingers on his skin more than anything. 

As he stepped outside the house after midday, he heard a small bump, because the door knocked a scroll down that leaned towards it. He picked it up with a frown. It was a rolled up canvas. 

_I’m sorry, Nino-chan_ , was written at the end of it, so he could see that without unfolding. He sighed, and considered not looking at it that time, but his curiosity won in just seconds. 

He should have left it unfolded, that was the conclusion. The painting portrayed a man he didn’t know. Even if it resembled the one in the mirror, Nino knew he would never be able to laugh like this guy. This carefree. No… this free. 

“I don’t think that day would come,” Nino muttered to the text that was written next to the portrait. 

_One day I’d like to see this too, okay?_  
He went to work with a very heavy heart after putting the canvas in his flat.

~*~

“When I arrived home just a little bit after sunrise, Kazu-chan greeted me with the cutest meows that I’ve ever heard. It made me really happy to see her again, and being able to accept her greetings. It feels nice, when someone welcomes you home, right?”

Nino almost stopped the radio there. He just didn’t want to hear about how he ruined everything with his stupid tantrum. But Ohno always went beyond his expectations. 

“But you see, it rarely ever happened to me before, so I wanted to feel that nice emotion even more, and tried to get my friend to say the words for me, too.” Ohno stopped for a while, and in the background, Nino could only hear Kazu’s happy meows. “But you see, I forgot about something important. When one has people who welcomes them home, one needs to say goodbye, too, before they go away, right? Or else they do not deserve those precious words.” 

_It’s freaking obvious, how can you forget something like that_ , Nino grunted slightly annoyed.

“But you see…”

_How many times can you say that in five minutes?!_

“I’m probably like Kazu-chan, a stray cat trying to survive in the human world. Nee, Kazu-nyan?” Ohno snuggled his nose into the cat’s hair, which made it meow uncomfortably.

“Ah, you don’t like that, right? I so understand,” he said then giggled happily. “We can’t deal with too much affection and we don’t know how to treat people the right way… even though we might like them a lot. Cause you love me, ri~~~~~~ght?”

Noises of laughter and desperate struggle.

“Do I like fish that much, because I’m actually a cat?” asked Ohno in his usual daydreaming voice, then laughed one more time, before switching to talk about other things. 

Nino lay down on the sofa, and threw his arm over his face to cover his eyes. 

_I’m such an idiot. I’m such an idiot for falling for a man like him._

He might have picked up two stray cats that unfortunate night, but they caused so different problems for him. Because he could bond Kazu to himself just by taking care of it, he knew the kitten would stay by his side as long as he gives it food. It was different with a human. They didn’t need you to stay alive. Nobody could be as important as food or water, so the possibility to leave you behind was never zero. And with a man like Ohno, the balance was just so off, he shouldn’t have even hoped for anything. 

Ohno was a free man. A stray man, who enjoys wandering around. Nino didn’t know his past, but he obviously grew up alone, and now he was completely fine in that state, most likely never ever want to be bound to anyone, especially not a place. Nino’s heart hurt a lot that night because he couldn’t ignore the fact, his wings were long years gone, and he could never be as free as Ohno. Nino was already a proper adult of this fucked up society, without dreams and wings, no matter how young his face might show.

~*~

It took them a few weeks to get back to where they were, because Nino had a hard time getting out of his bad mood. He went over to check on Kazu, but hardly talked with Ohno or stayed for too long. At least the older one told him, he was really sorry.

Nino wasn’t at home when he got a call from his ‘Captain’ on Saturday – he had a phone in the end, but they didn’t exchange contact info, he just wasn’t in the mood – and he had to rush over to the harbor to help him. He must have thought Nino would definitely check on the cat, that’s why the door was open. 

_“I’ve got nothing that would be worth stealing, so it doesn’t really matter,”_ he said with a nonchalant face. He didn’t even consider leaving a note or something. Nino just shook his head, stroked Kazu one more time, then went home. He wasn’t up for this at that time. 

However, all this couldn’t keep him away from Ohno’s place. Even if your head knows that something is bad for you, it’s still hard to resist it, right? 

Ohno was like spring showers even after the incident. When he decided to go to fish, he just went off, but at least he took the time to tell Nino about it. They even bought a travel crate for Kazu, so Ohno sometimes carried it with himself, but Nino didn’t like those days, so he always offered to take care of it. He couldn’t even admit for himself how utterly lonely he felt. 

By the time Tokyo’s sakura trees lost most of their beautiful petals and the scenery started to change to green, just before summer flowers would dye it with every color of the rainbow, Nino had to face the colorless reality.

They were in Yoyogi Park one early afternoon on a weekend, when Nino had time off. There were even more people than usual, because some matsuri was in preparation, but they found a bench by one of the smaller lakes, so Ohno started to _work_ right away. He said he needed money, so he planned to sell his paintings that day. Nino would have preferred to stay between four walls – cause who even needed fresh air?! – but in the end stuck around, because it really didn’t matter where he played his games. 

Kazu-chan enjoyed – being lost – hunting in the piles of dead sakura petals, and it even got recorded by Ohno’s talented hands. Nino wasn’t surprised anymore just how fast this man could paint or draw a picture. He never met an artist before, but he was sure it was considered very fast. The only thing Ohno was very picky about was choosing colors, he saw him tear up beautiful pictures only because he wasn’t satisfied with one shade of a color. Though, now it was like large-scale production, so he just did what he had to. They were still pretty impressive, the younger noted every time one was done. 

“Stop that!” moaned Nino, when realized, the next picture will portray him with the exhausted Kazu in his lap. 

“Eh? Why?” Ohno looked up with a pout. 

“I’m not some kind of idol so people don’t need to have my pictures in their homes,” he said while rolling his eyes. 

“Nino-chan could easily be one, though, you are just so undeniably cute,” Ohno answered with a giggle. “But it’s okay. It’s for myself. You know I prefer people over scenery, so I need a little change.”

“How much longer you wanna stay?” Nino asked. It was so enough of fresh air for him by now.

“Well, I’ve only sold two so far…”

“And gave away one for free,” the younger one interrupted with a grimace.

“That little girl was so adorable, and she wanted Kazu-chan’s picture a lot, what was I supposed to do?” asked Ohno back, then laughed for a while by himself. “So we should stay till the festival,” he answered in the end.

“Ugh,” groaned Nino. “Should we now?”

Ohno happily continued the picture of Nino and Kazu – the younger really didn’t understand how he didn’t get bored of doing this – and in the end started to murmur some melody, too. He did this a lot, and Nino loved to listen to it. After all, this man’s voice was the first thing he fell in love with.

And actually, in the past few months, he’s been working on a song that he wrote only for Ohno. He didn’t write proper songs, ever since he stopped composing his own music, and switched to short melodies for games and commercials, so it wasn’t easy. But it’s not like he ever wanted to show it to anyone anyway, so there was no need to fluster. 

“Why are you in such a need for money, by the way?” Nino inquired mindlessly after a while, because he got bored by his game that wouldn’t let him clear one of the levels. 

“Hm?” Ohno took his time answering, because he was too absorbed in drawing Nino’s face. “For train tickets.”

The younger’s insides tensed in a second.

“Are you going somewhere?” He was staring at the fountain in front of him, and wasn’t inattentive at all anymore. In fact, he couldn’t not care anymore about this. 

“Summer is coming, I usually go to many places this time of the year. I’m not a fan of cold, though, so I usually come back to Tokyo by October.”

“Do you now?” asked Nino below his breathe. 

The wind blew through the park, sakura petals were showing off their last beautiful dance for everybody to see. And people saw it for sure, while Nino fought against the storm in his heart, laughter and blissful talking filled the air. 

He stared at nothing for so long, even Ohno noticed his silence. Nino quivered as he touched his hair.

“You’ve got petals here,” he said in a soft voice. 

When their eyes finally met, they were really close to each other. Satoshi wanted to stroke that face again, but the other one already seemed flustered, so he stopped. “Nee, Nino-chan.” He tilted his head to the right. “Do you wanna come with me?”

“I’m a businessman. We don’t do that,” answered the younger one surprisingly right away. He thought about this a lot already after all, right? He had nights fantasizing about going with Ohno somewhere, just out of blue. But… 

“I can’t even stand boats,” he muttered. 

There were a few minutes of silence, then Ohno drew apart from him.

“Then I can ask you to take care of Kazu-chan, right?”

Oh, the pain in his chest was so real, he didn’t know it’s actually possible to feel such true, physical pain just because of emotions. A voice can be so unbearably nonchalant, that it breaks your heart. _Good to know._ Nino looked down at the cat in his lap that felt heavier than ever, and stroked its golden back.

“Yeah, you can do that.”

Because Nino was sure, if Ohno took away this cat, too, he would not be able to deal with loneliness anymore. He was lonely. He was lonely before Ohno came, he is lonely now, and he’ll be lonely even after this man goes away on his adventures. But the level of that solitude will change drastically and he already felt that. And to be able to survive, he needed at least this cat to be with him.

_I’ll be a cat lady. Fucking great._

“Speaking of your cat, it probably needs food already, so I’ll take it home.”

“Eh? Won’t wait for the matsuri?”Ohno asked confusedly.

“Nah, I don’t like crowds.”

“How boring,” muttered the older one, then caressed Kazu’s head for a while without looking at Nino.

Who wasn’t only sad anymore. He felt irritated, furious at that. He could take mean comments that people said about him, he could take critics on his work, he could swallow many things, except that one word he hated more than anything. Boring. 

Nino went home right away, the fastest way possible. He hated the crowds, the slow public transport, his luck to meet a man that was just so utterly different than him. Damn, he hated Ohno more than anything in that one hour till his door closed behind him, and he could land on his futon. He buried his face into his pillow, and shouted mutely into it with all his force. 

He hated himself. He hated that he gave up on his dreams, that he chose this boring life where people told him what to do, that he accepted loneliness as his only partner instead of facing the problems which piled up in front of him, blocking everything. He was so so pitiful… why was he even alive? 

He flickered a little as a paw landed on his arm, then the loud meowing started by his ear. Slowly, he turned his head to look at Kazu that hit him again and again. _Did you really get hungry?_ Nino asked only in his head, because he wasn’t able to actually open his mouth yet. He wanted to stroke it, snuggle his nose into its soft hair, but the cat resisted desperately. 

“Okay,” Nino groaned. “I get it, you are hungry.”

Meows that sounded happy answered him. 

It took a lot of strength, but he got up from his futon, and went to open a can. It was a usual, everyday, boring thing. It still helped him to fight back the walls of solitude that almost crushed him. Nino crouched down to watch Kazu while it ate the food, looking blissful and satisfied. 

_Even if I can’t figure my shit out now, it’s okay to stay alive only to care for you, right?_ The moment the cat was done, he grabbed it and embraced in a tight hug. 

He already knew perfectly well why people kept pets.

~*~

Ohno bid goodbye to them on an ordinary Tuesday morning in the last week of May, and he never mentioned when he would come back. Which was only natural, looking at how he obviously had no plan whatsoever. While Kazu cried in distressed, Nino had his mask on; with his usual grimace he promised to take care of the cat and said nothing else. Only later on, when Sea of Colours started, did he have a hard time keeping his façade – that he kept on for his own good all day long. He had to bite his lower lip and squeeze his eyes shut to not let the feelings out.

His life wasn’t the same anymore. He couldn’t take Kazu with him to the office, so he had to come back at least at midnight, because after Ohno’s departure, the cat didn’t take loneliness as good as him. When the old ladies on the street level stopped him one morning to complain about the meows and other noise Kazu made, he thought they’d kill him. Fortunately he survived, so he had to rewrite his daily schedule. And he did it without a word of complaint.

~*~

When July came and it became unbearably hot, there was nothing else but complaints coming out of Nino’s mouth. He even tried to sneak Kazu in the office once – failed miserably, their security guy was a reliable fellow – because there was air-conditioning there, and he planned to move in till this hell ends. The only time of the day, when it was possible to exist was between 2am and 4am. So even if he tried to live a more _normal people_ life now, he was still up very late, fighting to compose music on his laptop or tablet with headphones on, to not disturb anyone.

However, when Sea of Colours started, he always removed them. After all, the only reason he still listened to this was that, Kazu wanted to hear Ohno’s voice, right? Or so he tried to convince himself. 

“A really strange thing happened today,” said that voice without saying any greetings one night. 

_Are there things that are not strange in your life?_

“I realized there are people who actually listen to this radio,” continued Satoshi, then giggled for a while, clearly happy.

_You are an idiot_ , Nino growled, but slightly tensed. _Can it be…_

“I’ve got an e-mail two weeks ago. So, actually the strange thing happened that time, but I only saw it today, when I bought a new phone. My old one fell into the sea… hope a lucky mermaid will happily use it from now on… Do I need to pay the bill if mermaids use my phone and not me?”

Nino’s palm made a loud noise as he smacked it to his forehead. _This guy…_

“So, I’ve got a message from somebody, who actually listens to me talking here. This new, very smart phone can manage more than one e-mail accounts, and I miraculously remembered I made another one for this radio, so I added it in the application. I had like 1000 messages,” he said, then giggled for long seconds. “I almost deleted it, but scrolled through the last 20 and found one that wasn’t spam.” 

Nino forgot about even breathing. _Wah, damn, damn, damn…_ He pulled up his legs, and hid his face into his thighs, because of the embarrassment burnt his body intensely, even if Kazu was the only one who can see him.

“Everyone, who perhaps sent me messages before, sorry for ignoring them,” said Ohno after a while. “I’ll read the one I found, though, because it’s really special.”

Nino’s heart wanted to jump out of his chest. 

“ _Good evening, Satoshi-kun,_ ” Ohno started on a serious tone, then right away snorted. “Satoshi-kun… that’s so formal, nobody calls me that. But good evening! – This is really radio-like now, right?” He giggled some more before continuing. 

“ _It’s been around a year now since I listened to your show, whenever I can catch it._ – It’s not easy, right? I’m sorry, I’m just a hopelessly random guy. – _Honestly, I can’t care less about fishes, and I’m not even an artist to understand half of the things you talk about._ – Then why are you even forcing yourself?” he asked back, then laughed out loud. 

“ _But I really like to listen to your voice. It’s smooth to a level that I space out a lot of times, but it’s not like I want to concentrate on the things you say anyway, so it’s fine._ – Is it now?! I’m not sure if you compliment me or being rude,” he said in an amused voice. 

“ _I work with music, so colors, literally, are not a part of my life, but I was told many times in this year, that the melodies that I are composed are full of colors. Funny, my boss even gave the title, Sea of Colours to one of them._ – That is just so wow! – _So, here I am, wanting to thank you for painting my life with your strange colors, it’s all thanks to you._ – I so didn’t do anything, and can’t believe this. It’s not a prank, right?” He tried to laugh it off, but obviously was touched by the comments. 

“Me, being important in someone’s life… that’s not something I’m used to. Thanks, Nameless-san, I wish you would have signed the message. Which doesn’t end here anyway. Nameless-san composed a song for me. – _I think, this song would fit your voice well, probably sing it sometime?_ – What is that even?” Satoshi was really startled. “A pro just wrote me a song? I’m on the Moon.”

Then he heard some paper rustling.

“I just found it today, got the score and lyrics printed and all, but I can’t sing this right now, I’m sorry. Please, give me some time, I’ll definitely do it! I’m so touched, and feeling all kinds of weird. I hope you listened to this, Nameless-san! Thank you for doing this for so long! Thank you!”

Nino couldn’t do so for any longer. He touched the screen of the tablet and ignoring Kazu’s dissatisfied crying, he just kept sitting there, hugging his legs, suffering from embarrassment. Ohno wasn’t the only one who couldn’t believe this happened. Nino was still shocked about his stupidity to actually send that song for this man. 

The song, which he secretly kept making for months, was ready in merely two nights after Ohno left them. Nino couldn’t concentrate on his work, nothing else came to him but melodies and words that fitted that song perfectly, so he just gave in and completed it. 

He was satisfied, and ready to hide it in a folder on his laptop, but couldn’t go back to actual work at all. New melodies kept haunting him and that didn’t go well with the games he worked on – and he didn’t even want to show them to his boss and get his opinion, because he felt like he would be able to read his feelings. Nino’s everything were in those melodies that kept flowing from under his hands. 

One very late night then, after listening to Ohno’s warm words about how much he loves his life – they caught a huge tuna, and had a festival-like evening with the fisherman in the harbor that day – Nino finally gave voice to his real feelings.

“I want to live a life I love, too. I want to write proper music.”

It scared him that he actually opened his mouth to say this, but he really couldn’t suppress it anymore. 

The dream that he thought, he had lost years ago started to revive, to grow again, and with Ohno around – even if he wasn’t there literally anymore, Nino still saw that life he wanted to live, too – he had no power to fight it anymore. 

However, before actually trying to change, he had to do that one thing. He had to send that first song which finally opened the way out of the walls for him. Because even if his feelings were hard on him, the fact that he was grateful for Satoshi and Sea of Colours stood firm.

~*~

Though, after hearing him receive the song, Nino lost all his confidence and couldn’t even bring himself to check the online radio list for more than a week. He wanted to hear Ohno sing his song, but at the same time, he was frightened by the thought of it. Nino was already in love with this man, what would happen after hearing Satoshi sing his song? He couldn’t afford falling even deeper.

Ohno Satoshi, however, as everyfreakingtime so far, decided to talk into his decision. “ _This Sunday, around 3 in the morning. I did it. So please listen to it._ ” 

The e-mail came on Thursday to the address Nino made only for sending the message. He kind of wished he was someone who goes out Saturday night and never be at home till next morning. But he wasn’t, so he obviously had no plans for that weekend either. 

“Your owner is the most unfair man that I’ve had the misfortune to meet,” whispered Nino to Kazu, before forcing the cat to let him hug it for long, long minutes, while his heart finally slowed down. 

Saturday evening came very fast, but strangely, the night felt like it will go on forever. Nino couldn’t concentrate on anything, so in the end, he just lay down on his tatami, arms and legs spread wide open, staring at the ceiling, counting the seconds in his mind. But not even that boring, monotonic action could slow his thoughts down, he kept himself from losing the numbers, and started to fantasize about impossible things.

After 2am, he went out to the veranda to smoke, and as he looked over to Ohno’s place, he realized he forgot to close his glass-door after opening it in the morning – he tried to keep the place in order, so sometimes went to let the air out and such. He highly doubted it would be a problem to not close it at all, but still went over to do it, mostly because he was bored anyway.   
“Oi, you! We are going!” he told the cat that sneaked out then in this flat between his legs. “Don’t do that, we should go…”

Kazu sat down in the middle of the room, and hearing its cries, Nino could easily guess how much it didn’t want to leave. He sighed, then stepped back up to the tatami, and walked back to Kazu. 

“I know, me too…” he mumbled after sitting down cross-legged, and stroking the cat’s head. 

Nino missed him, too. And he missed this place, too. The smell of paint and the sea… it was actually like he got inside Sea of Colours. It smelled like… 

No, he didn’t want to think about that. 

He sighed again, then looked at his phone. It was 2:45. 

“Maa, it doesn’t really matter where we listen to it, right?” _It’s gonna hurt anyway._

His phone was connected to his wi-fi even there, so he just opened the online radio list… then his heart skipped a beat, because Sea of Colours was already on. 

“–ng boy let me hop on his boat, and we went up the river together, and I could paint a lot. I wasn’t in the mood to fish again, somehow, but helped him, of course. He was such a hardworking little boy…”

Nino frowned. Ohno not in the mood to fish? And river? He preferred the sea over anything. What the heck happened? 

“Then during the night, I just kept staring at the sky, and even if I felt it’s beautiful, I had no desire to paint it.” Satoshi was silent for a few seconds. 

“You know, I really thought, I’m getting sick,” he continued, then snorted, and probably shook his head considering the noises. “But it’s not exactly that.”

The wrinkles on Nino’s forehead got even deeper.

“I’m homesick.”

Then his mouth fell open. 

“Or I guess, this is how people feel when they are homesick. I feel this constant void in my chest, and even if I try to fill it with the things I usually enjoy, it just eats up everything. It’s the darkest black ever, and I doubt I could paint this color, no matter how much I try.” 

_When did I start biting my lip, ouch…_

“And it all started when I first tried to sing that song Nameless-san sent. The talent of pros is really scary,” he said, then a small, dark laughter was heard. “When I finally had it in my head, it just wouldn’t stop repeating, you see, and it made me feel all weird. Music is an amazing thing, and people who can do magic with it, are also amazing. Nameless-san, you are amazing.” 

Nino hid his face in his hands, but his ears were still just as red. Fortunately only Kazu could see, who was looking at him funny, anyway.

“I miss Kazu-chan.”

Nino’s heart sank to his chest. Of course, he misses the cat. _Then come back for your stupid cat, you idiot, I’m so fed up taking care of it!_

“I miss home. I’m not sure how I feel about you making me feel these weird things, Nameless-san. It’s like I’m losing my freedom, and it’s scary,” Ohno stayed silent for a while. “I miss home.”

_Then come back!_

Tears started to stream down his face as the melody he wrote started. It was a slow, tender tune, which gradually got stronger, but never breaking the whole atmosphere he wanted to convey. Which was that warm emotion he felt, when his solitude let go of him for seconds thanks to Ohno’s presence. And the older man could give it all back perfectly, his voice made the melody more alive, not just by merging with it, but being able to lead it. And it made Nino feel awful. His heart hurt, his whole body hurt, because those times were gone, and now making him remember it just made everything worse. 

“Come back!” he muttered, as the song started to end. “Please, come back!”

“I’m home.”

Nino tensed for a second, then got up on his feet in no time and stared at the door in disbelief. Just like the first time they met, Ohno appeared in front of him again, out of nowhere. 

“How come you two are in my room? Kazu-chan!” he shouted happily, as the kitten was already by his side.

“You grew bigger again, ne?” He crouched down to stroke the joyous cat’s back. 

That was probably the reason why he didn’t realize, his own voice is resonating in the room, till Nino picked up his phone, and stopped it. Then desperately tried to dry his face, or just hide it somehow, but he failed, Ohno was already too close. _Did you realize I am Nameless-san?!_

“Why were you crying?” asked the older one surprised. 

“What are you even doing here?” Nino snapped back instead. 

“I came home?”

“Did you now?” 

This time, he didn’t let that hand touch him. Nino stepped back, so Ohno’s hand remained there in the air. “It’s not even close to October yet. Why would you come back?”

Satoshi tilted his head to the right a little, as he tried to figure out what to say.

“I missed Kazu-chan,” he said in the end. 

“Did you now?” Nino grunted as his hurt feelings made him more and more angry. 

“Yes, and I missed home, too.”

“Great, you have your cat and your flat, then I’m going.”

Nino walked past him, but Ohno grabbed his wrist and turned him back right away. 

“What–“

“I said I missed home.”

“Great,” Nino repeated with a grimace.

“You are home.”

Time felt like stopping. Nino’s heart definitely didn’t beat for a long while.

“Hah?!” he growled into the older’s face then. 

“I didn’t miss this place. I missed the time I spent here.” Ohno held his hand firmly, so he had no chance to run away again as he used to. “And that time is you.”

The younger said nothing, he just couldn’t. His voice died in his throat that felt like it clogged forever. 

“I missed our time together with Kazu-chan. I missed having you by my side. I missed seeing your face. I missed you.” 

Nino just stood there, not resisting him anymore, so Ohno stepped even closer – still holding his hand, though – then touched his face. 

“I kept drawing your face ever since I went away. No matter where I went, what beautiful things I’ve seen, I just kept drawing this face.” He caressed Nino’s skin so gently and the younger one felt the tears gathering in his eyes again. “And your eyes. Your sad, sad eyes when you said, you can’t come with me. I just couldn’t get them out of my mind.”

He wasn’t able to say anything. He just kept staring at Ohno’s face, because Nino had no idea how to be honest, how he should react now.

“I couldn’t capture them well, though. The brown of Nino-chan’s eyes isn’t something I can just paint, then be satisfied with. I want to see it for real.” The older one didn’t wipe off that single teardrop that ran down Nino’s face, and instead, his eyes followed it all the way down to the corner of his mouth. “Just like I want to see your catlips, too.” 

Nino felt this strange warmness getting stronger and stronger in his body as Ohno kept staring at his lips. 

“Like your whole face. I really, _really_ missed you.” He looked back up into Nino’s teary eyes. “Did you miss me, too?”

Wrinkles showed up between Nino’s eyebrows, next to his eyes, and even around his mouth, as he fought with his feelings. Why should he be honest? What can happen if he told Satoshi his feelings? Ohno won’t stay here, and Nino… still didn’t feel he has the wings to fly free.

“I know you missed me.”

“Did I now?!” he snapped back right away at the other’s certain voice.

Then Satoshi giggled a little.

“Finally you said something. I was starting to think, something stuck in your throat.”

_THERE IS SOMETHING STUCK THERE, YOU IDIOT!_

“What if I missed you anyway? You won’t stay here,” he tried to shrug it off, but he doubted his nonchalance was convincing with tears on his face. 

“No, I really don’t think I can do that.” Ohno shook his head a little. “But neither do I think that Nino-chan wants to stay here. You want to come with me.”

“Do I now?” Nino voice was so faint that even he had problem to hear it.

“Yes, yes, you do. And I want you to come with me, Nino-chan.” 

“What about your freedom? You won’t be free with me– us around,” he corrected himself, because he knew Kazu is in the picture, too. 

Ohno didn’t answer right away, just bit his lip and tilted his head again.

“I’m not the nice person you might think I am,” burst Nino out seeing his hesitation. It was like oil to the flames of his insecurities. “I won’t just let you disappear in your world, like you did so far, when you get absorbed in painting or fishing or anything. I’m not selfless enough for that. If you take me with you, I’ll be selfish, and won’t let you just be.” 

The confusion just got even more visible on the older man’s face.

“Do I do that? ‘Disappearing in my world’?”

Nino’s mouth was left open for a second.

“Like… all the time?!” he snapped back.

“Oh.” 

A tremulous sigh leaked out Nino’s mouth, as he watched the other one ponder about the news, looking at him with those… stray cat eyes. It just so wasn’t fair.

“But I never felt like I’m alone in my world when we were together?” Ohno started to talk again. “You were there, Kazu-chan was there, too. You were with me all the time.”

 

It was time for Nino to feel confused. 

“Even if I don’t talk much, even if I paint or draw, I am here. I was in this apartment together with Nino-chan and Kazu-chan. I saw you, I felt you by my side,” he shook his head sturdily. “That is what I miss. Having you two around all the time. I wasn’t in another world, Nino-chan,” 

_Was I wrong…? All this time?_

“You see, after so aggressively coming into my life, and making me adopt a pet and all, you surely lost that spirit.”

_I wasn’t aggressive. I could do that, because I’ve already known you for a long time. You were a part of my life already by that time._

“I know you are replying in your head,” Ohno snorted. “You do that a lot. Not opening your mouth, even though you have an answer.”

_It’s a habit. I’ve also been doing this for a long time._

“But that’s Nino-chan, right? You are grumpy, and I guess even grumpier on the inside.” Satoshi’s hand wandered off the younger’s face, down to his neck, then back at his nape, and started to play with his hair there. They were just so, so close. 

“I don’t have a problem with it, you are funny when you snap back at my hopelessness. But you see–“ Ohno leaned even closer and pulled Nino’s head, too. “If you are not happy in this life, then I want you to come with me, and be at least a little less grumpy. I can help you with that. Being happier.” 

“Can you now?” Nino breathed the words, and his back trembled because he felt Ohno’s breath on his lips. 

“I know I can.”

The kiss was short, like even Ohno got surprised he actually did it. But Nino certainly felt his lips on his own, felt that nice softness, as much as the fire in his body that the kiss left behind.

_I love you_. That was all that he could think of, so probably his face was really weird, because the older one’s expression changed to an even more intense embarrassment as he looked into Nino’s eyes again.

“I didn’t exactly come back for this,” he mumbled hesitantly. “It’s just… your lips–“ His hand was already stroking Nino’s mouth. “They were so mesmerizing.”

The younger one didn’t answer, because he knew if he opened his mouth now, the only thing that would come out are those three words. And he wasn’t ready to do that. Even if what Ohno told him so far meant the same. 

“Will you come with me?” 

One more long sigh escaped Nino’s mouth before he was able to talk again. It was hard after all those times when he just answered in his mind.

“I gave in my resignation last week, because I want to write real music again. Songs for myself… and for others,” he said and looked at Ohno with anticipation.

He wanted him to know, the others meant him. The only reaction he got was a mouth left open. “I would need some inspiration for that, so I think… traveling sounds fine?”

“REALLY?!” shouted Satoshi really loud, then grabbed both of Nino’s shoulders. “Really, really?! Nino-chan will write songs? Isn’t that amazing? Wow! I only heard Nino-chan’s short melodies so far, I really want to hear what else you will compose! That’s so amazing!”

Nino wanted to do a facepalm. No, Ohno wasn’t aware that he was Nameless-san. 

“I’m not going on boats, though, you better know that.” 

“It’s okay! You can work, while I go out on the sea. It’ll be fine!” Ohno couldn’t stop grinning, he looked like an excited 10 years old. 

Nino wasn’t so sure about that, but he wanted to get out of here anyway, so he had some plans already. He had money on his bank account, enough for months of hobo life. He was sure about that. He still doubted everything would be okay, that he would be able to live the way Ohno does, but…

“Kiss me again,” he muttered under his breath.

“Eh?!” Ohno leaned closer and looked confused.

Nino rolled his eyes, then pressed his lips to the older one’s, who slowly opened his mouth up for him, then held his neck again. Nino didn’t want to think of the bad routes, he wanted this decision to lead him to the good ending. And he felt like the only things he can get power from are those kisses of this impossible man. _I want to be free._ He hid his face on Ohno’s shoulder when the man enveloped him in a warm hug after the kiss. 

_Please, make me free._

“I’ll show you a better life.”

_Will you now?_ , Nino answered in his head, then tightened the hug even more. 

“Please do so.” 

He had to open his mouth from now on. Because even if it all started with a voice in a radio, now he could embrace the body that belonged to that voice. The owner of the voice he fell in love with was by his side… most likely thanks to some gods, because it was actually a miracle. But Nino didn’t want to rely on anything anymore but his own power, so he had to gather every drop of his courage to not let go, to cling on to this man until he learns how to fly again. He wanted to, because the blue sky that Ohno showed him was the most fascinating thing that he ever wanted to see. 

He was ready to see the same things that Ohno did. He was ready to live with him in Sea of Colours, not just being an outsider trying to peek inside. 

It all started with a voice, and ended with a decision to begin something a lot bigger.


End file.
